Premier League’s baldest fans broken down with 49% of Newcastle fans hairless

Newcastle United fans are tearing their hair out watching their beloved Magpies with 49% reporting that they are bald or balding.

The Toon Army are head and shoulders above the national average for baldness – not that they require the shampoo of the same name.

Given those numbers, it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that Magpies fans top the coveted Premier League baldness table.

Their hair-to-head radio is the lowest in the top-flight, putting them well above the division’s bald bonce average, which stands at 30%.

Researchers for found that supporters believe the constant threat of relegation is the main cause of their hair falling out.

Overall, 5% of Premier League fans admitted to following the approach of Antonio Conte by receiving treatment to save their ailing locks.

Others took a more cut and dried approach, with 20% whipping out the shaver and going for a 0 all over at the first sign of thinning hair.

10% of supporters said they grew a beard to try and distract from their threadbare noggin’ – but we all know they’re not fooling anyone.

After Newcastle, Liverpool rank as the second biggest baldies with 47% owning up to having a dome shinier than polished chrome.

Chelsea rank third on 42%, with Tottenham Hotspur completing the follicly-challenged top-four on 41%.

Everton and Aston Villa make-up the top-six, while fed-up fans of relegated Fulham are up in seventh.

Further down the table, Manchester United fans came eighth with 36% of supporters reporting a breeze where their hair should be.

Meanwhile, the supporters most likely to still require the services of a barber are those of Leicester City and Wolverhampton Wanderers. The two clubs are in joint-16th place with just 16% of their fans going thin on top.

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  • Spokesman Rich Kearns said: “We were stunned to find around 30 per cent of Premiership fans are bald.

    “But maybe it should be no surprise considering the stress involved – particularly at this time of year when relegation battles are being decided.

    “If you are a Fulham, West Brom or Sheffield United fan you have the perfect excuse this year for losing your hair.

    “And it seems Newcastle's season-long battle to avoid relegation taken an even greater toll on its fans.”


    Newcastle United – 49 per cent

    Liverpool – 47 per cent

    Chelsea – 42 per cent

    Tottenham Hotspur – 41 per cent

    Everton – 40 per cent

    Aston Villa – 38 per cent

    Fulham – 37 per cent

    Manchester United – 36 per cent

    Crystal Palace – 34 per cent

    Manchester City – 27 per cent

    West Ham United – 26 per cent

    Arsenal – 26 per cent

    Sheffield United – 23 per cent

    Southampton – 22 per cent

    Burnley – 22 per cent

    Brighton and Hove Albion – 21 per cent

    Leeds United – 20 per cent

    West Bromwich Albion – 20 per cent

    Leicester City – 16 per cent

    Wolverhampton Wanderers – 16 per cent

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